My Computer Doesn’t Give Hugs

Yesterday I mentioned a helpful blog where my friend found some great homemaking tips. I enjoys blogs, and am obviously a blogger. Yet I have some musings about all this…

Technology has advanced more rapidly than I can keep up with — even though I work for my son who owns a technology company! The internet, skype, cell phones, facebook, twitter and email have made information and people accessible to everyone.  When google showed up on the scene it made instant information about any subject available 24/7. There, I can find an answer (not always a good one) to any question and find tips on any subject.

There are aspects of this I love!  Facebook allows me to connect with friends in meaningful ways and see and share family pictures; I can text family or friends with a quick question or “I’m praying for you”; and I can do a quick internet search to order flowers to send to a friend.

But relationships weren’t designed to be done by computer.

The interdependence by which God designed His people to live can certainly be supplemented by an encouraging email or thoughtful text. But when we spend more time in front of a computer or holding a cell phone than in face to face interaction with others something is amiss.

I’m glad my friend, Liz, found such good ideas on a homemaking blog. But believe me, she is the last person to depend on technology to connect with people. She would much rather chat over coffee than type on a keyboard.

I’m not anti-technology. I use my cell phone and iPad regularly  and often spend more time on my computer than is wise. There’s more safety, ease, quickness and self-protection in asking for prayer with a facebook status than stopping to call a friend. After all, she is probably too busy to answer my call anyway — and what if she asks the kinds of questions about why I need prayer that results in a lengthy, risky or humbling phone call? What if she picks up on the sinful attitudes I’m having? Or…hmmm…at times she can be a little quick to give (good!) advice rather than just patiently hearing me out and I just need someone to listen right now. Oh, and I really don’t have time to get into it all over the phone..and let’s see…it’ll be a week from tomorrow before we could meet for coffee.

Yep, I’ll just do the quick and safe facebook route…or should I send her an email?

So when it’s time for help or tips on homemaking, powering up the computer is a good option. But the impartation that happens when women sit face to face and share heart to heart is something a computer can’t provide.

A few days ago a first-time dad texted me with some breastfeeding questions for his exhausted wife concerning their just-born daughter. We had a phone chat and two days later the challenges continued. The baby was losing more than an average amount of weight and her new parents (and their pediatrician) were concerned. Technology had served its purpose but it was time for this new Mommy to get a hug and some help from a few experienced mothers.

I called one of my daughters-in-law who also had some very challenging issues with nursing her newborn just over a year ago, and she contacted a dear friend who is a lactation specialist. This compassionate friend had supported Lauren through weeks of painful breastfeeding, calling and stopping by regularly to offer practical advice and encouragement — resulting in Lauren having to wean her baby girl over a year later.

Within hours Jaime, Lauren, Heather and I visited this new mommy and her beautiful baby girl, armed with Heather’s “cadillac” breast pump, hugs, prayers and encouragement.  When she took her baby into the pediatrician just over a day later she had gained over one-half pound and was peeing and pooping constantly. Her exhuasted parents are nevertheless relieved and happy.

Cell phones coordinated all of this — but skin to skin, face to face contact is what made the difference.  Heather wasn’t content to talk to Stacey over the phone. She wanted to see what was happening; patiently coach her; and give eye to eye encouragement. It’s not about whether Stacey continues breastfeeding or decides to use formula to grow her daughter. It’s about women caring for other women one hug and word of encouragement at a time.

So let’s use technology for the blessing it can be. But let’s not substitute it for the kind of life-giving face to face ministry that humbly says, “I need help. Can we talk?”

I texted the new parents earlier to see how their night went. Hmm….I’m gonna call them and see when I can stop by.

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