The Beauty of Brokenness

Yesterday I was talking about not apologizing for God’s will. A friend commented on the post, saying, “…although there are trying circumstances weighing on me, the good far outweighs the bad. I can speak like the Israelites who said in Psalm 126:1, ‘When the LORD restored the fortunes of Zion, we were like those who dream.'”

I’m asking myself if I am one of “those who dream.”

I think part of what I’ve been walking through recently is the disappointment of some of my dreams not coming true. Here’s an example…

When I was younger (umm, much younger) I dreamed that Benny and I would serve at the same church for forever and ever. We started a church at age 25 and then spent two decades growing and serving and sinning and making memories together. Many of the people who helped get the church off the ground persevered through the hard work, challenges and leadership changes — and are still there three decades later. In those early years we talked about being buried in the woods behind the building we all sacrificed to see happen…and mused about replacing the little ones we held in our arms during worship with our future grandchildren someday.

Two churches and lots of gray hairs later, I now hold my grandchildren hundreds of miles away from that place. Sometimes I still battle sadness over forever and ever not happening there.  With them. I see pictures of their grown-up children on facebook and remember holding them in my lap, then wonder, “Do those kids even know who I am?”

Then I think about the people I wouldn’t otherwise know. The tears and prayers and fellowship and laugh-till-I-cried moments that wouldn’t have happened with friends I wouldn’t have gained. The trials and suffering that awaited me here in Florida that I needed to get to so I could experience God’s help in delightful, sanctifying ways.

Broken dreams are hard to handle. Until I think of Eden. I think about how God’s perfect and beautiful plan for His image-bearers was broken by sin. Yet even before the garden was created, God devised a plan. From the brokenness came a glorious plan of redemption that put God’s wisdom and love on display when our sinless Savior paid the ultimate price.

When I was dreaming about forever and ever, God knew my dreams wouldn’t be fulfilled my way. But how can I not praise Him for the experiences and people that wouldn’t have otherwise happened if there was really a place for me to be buried out in those woods?

It’s like seeing a lovely mirror crashed and broken on the floor.  Now, rather than one piece of reflective beauty, there are many. My broken dream has resulted in numerous unsolicited yet precious gifts — including a brand new church to which God knew my broken dream would lead.

My friend reminded me of dreaming. I hope her reminder blesses you today.

Dream on.

14 thoughts on “The Beauty of Brokenness

  1. I’m deeply grateful the Lord, in His Sovreignty, chose to ‘share’ you with us. Our lives will forever be changed because of our relationship and time spent with you both. He has more for you to impart in this new church – with new people. Thank you for being willing to lay down your lives – AGAIN – for the sake of the Gospel. On that day you will kneel before the Lord and hear “Well done”!

    • Thank you, Anna. Those are the words I want to hear! You and Eric are such a dear part of our lives and it warms my heart to know that part of why God brought us here was to know you. I’m sad He then took you away, but am grateful for our ongoing friendship. Miss you!

  2. As one of “the people I wouldn’t otherwise known” I am glad, thankful, and blessed that God had a different dream for you. I dreamed of a Sovereign Grace church in South Orlando for 15 years. Your broken dreams, that resulted in your coming to Orlando, helped fulfill mine. I could say that I am sorry that your dreams were not realized but since my family is so greatly blessed by you and Benny being here I can’t say it or I would be lying.
    The Brackin family loves you and your family.

    • We love the Brackin family, too! David, thank you for sharing this. It’s a wonderful comfort to know that my broken dream make yours happen! What a faithful God we have! We love doing church with you guys!

  3. Sharee, I am so very grateful that God’s plan brought you to Florida and into the life of our daughter and grandson. Having met you and Bennie and your family last week solidified for me how much they are loved and cared for. I will be forever grateful to all of you.

    Blessings to all

  4. Pingback: Loving Your Spouse With Gospel Love | The Romantic Vineyard

  5. I too am so grateful that your dreams did not go as planned because my life would have been so different & lacked so much if I had not known you. God’s plan for your life allowed me to be a part of it & for that I can never convey the extent of my gratefulness. He picks up the pieces of all our broken dreams and refits them together into something more beautiful than we can imagine. All the broken edges and jagged pieces somehow fit perfectly together to make a new mirror that reflects His beauty & not our own. He is still re-cutting the pieces in our lives and fitting them in new patterns. Yet the pieces he fit together will be joined and continue to touch for all of eternity. New pieces are being added to make the reflection even more beautiful. Thank you for picking up the pieces of your broken dreams with us. I love you!

  6. I’m not sure words will accurately convey how much this is true in my life! I’m sooo thankful for the broken dreams that led us to Redeemer, and to you guys, and for the love, encouragement, healing, and HOPE we are experiencing in our walk with God and in our relationships with you guys! Freedom, joy, and growth have been truly beautiful fruit of pain and brokenness. Thankking God for what He’s doing!!

    • This is a precious testimony to the love of God. How grateful we are that out of your own brokenness the Lord brought you to REDEEMER, where God is making all things new. You are loved!!!

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